Cucumber salad, my family style, is one of my most favorite things to eat in the world. There were times when I was growing up that I would hunker down with a nice big bowl of rice and steadily pick away at the piquant mound of crisp julienned cucumber. Everyone else would finish eating and I would still be sitting there, an hour later, spooning the salad juice over the last clumps of jasmine rice in my bowl, savoring every last drop.
It's a variation on the classic Thai dish som tum, which is normally made with green papaya. Don't get me wrong, I love green papaya, but sometimes you don't have time to go to the asian market. These days I certainly don't have the patience to deal with the rabid throngs in chinatown. Besides, you can't always get a good green papaya -- sometimes they're difficult to track down, and when you finally find them, the few available are pockmarked and soft, oozing gross milky white papaya blood.
So in my house, instead of green papaya, we often substituted the widely available kirby cucumbers, maybe three large cucumbers for one plate of salad. My mom or I would shred the crisp, cool flesh, skin and all, into julienne-like sticks by bouncing the knife on the surface of the cucumber lengthwise creating parallel knife marks 1/4 of an inch deep, then slicing the surface horizontally to create a pile of uneven, crunchy shreds.
Then I'd sit down on the floor with the clay mortar and pestle on the rag rug, along with my other ingredients: a tomato, a lime, fish sauce, sugar, dried shrimp, thai chili, and a couple of cloves of garlic. the chilies and garlic go in first. my mom said there's a superstition about the chilies -- you should always use an odd number of chilies. for my taste, I liked three well pounded chilies -- my mom can take seven. also, the more you pound your chili, the spicier your dish gets. anyway, pound the chili and garlic together a couple of times -- it doesn't have to be a paste. then add your dried shrimp, and give them a nice pounding. i like pounding them til i can't tell that they're shrimp anymore.
Now slice the tomato into uneven pieces directly into your mortar. At this point, I also like to add the seeded section of the cucumber, cut into 1/2 inch pieces. Squeeze the juice of one lime in there (and don't be lame about it -- use a fork if you have to, but squeeze all that juice out.) Now add some nice healthy squirts of fish sauce. I like Tiparos fish sauce, and for that dish, I measure four one-second squirts to start. Add maybe 1/2 tsp. of sugar (palm sugar if you have it) and start pounding lightly. It'll slosh around, but you don't need to pound it for too long, maybe just 10 poundings. then add your julienned cucumber and give it another few poundings.
Now, most importantly, taste it. It should be tart and pungent with fish sauce. It should make your saliva start running. The sweetness should be coming mostly from the tomato. It should have the bite of raw garlic and it should be as spicy as you can stand (remember, you're eating it with lots of rice). If the lime-fish sauce balance is uneven, add a little more of this, a little more of that. If the whole thing is too salty-tart, add a touch more sugar.
Serve with a fresh pot of jasmine rice and a protein of your choice. On Sundays, we had it with take-out from El Pollo Loco, or a little KFC. It'd be just as good with a home roasted chicken, or a salt-baked fish, or some fried dried beef and sticky rice.
But sometimes just a nice deep bowl of steaming rice with a big spoon will do.
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Incidentally, now is the best time for kirbies. The greenmarket is selling them three for a dollar if you get the large ones (which are best for this dish) -- they're super crisp and unwaxed, unlike their supermarket brethren.