Banana pudding

One day I am going to overdose on banana pudding. I am going to turn into one big goopy Nilla wafer, oozing yellow cream out of my sweet pores. My arteries will be clogged with whipped cream and my intestines will be stopped up with bananas. But I will have died sinfully, blissfully, joyously, bloatedly happy.

This weekend, I had a major craving for banana pudding. I debated all Saturday long whether or not I should get off my ass, rip my fingers away from the remote control, and make a trip to Sugar Sweet Sunshine for a fix. At about 6:00, I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I fucking doffed my tropical orange print muumuu, donned my public clothes, ventured out into the waning daylight from my beloved Sunset Park, took the N(ever) train and changed at Canal, where I waited for twenty minutes for an M(aybe if you're lucky) train, got off at Essex St. just to buy a large banana pudding. Let no one say I am inert. Let no one say I am lazy. When I want something (to eat), I will go to great lengths to get it. I will spend my (Mastercard's) last penny on a great piece of meat, or an excellent Indian lunchbox if that's what I am in the mood for. Food is my only vice, and I am a bad, bad girl.

Of course, I got to Sugar Sweet Sunshine with a sweet tooth that had the shakes. When I looked into the display case, I noticed three full tubs of the custard used to make banana pudding, but no prepared banana pudding. With dismay, I whispered to one of the slim bakresses behind the counter, "Do you have any banana pudding?" She said, "Nope. Sorry." I put on my most anguished face, a face that I hoped expressed the fact that I had gotten out of my muumuu and traveled all the way from deep Brooklyn for that banana pudding and I was not about to leave without it. I think she smelled my desperation and she said, "It'll be done in thirty minutes."

So by the time I came back my sweet tooth was scratching its bleeding nails at the walls. A huge tub of banana pudding was waiting for me! I ordered a large banana pudding (which is no small feat to eat), a pistachio cupcake, a red velvet cupcake with vanilla satin buttercream, and a german chocolate cupcake thrown in for good measure. As usual, I went overboard.

I finished the three cupcakes off that night, and I savored the banana pudding all day on Sunday. When Wednesday rolled around, and I was considering making a detour on the way home for another banana pudding, I decided maybe it was time to try and make some myself. My coworker Dottie gave me the cheater's recipe for banana pudding. For my upcoming birthday poker tournament, I plan on making this Sweet Dreams Banana Pudding recipe, but this quick recipe is pretty damn good, considering that preparation is only about 10 minutes.

Quick n' Lazy Banana Pudding

1 box Jello pudding Banana Cream
2 cups cold milk

1/2 pint heavy cream
a little sugar
a splash of vanilla

2 bananas, sliced

1/2 box of Nilla Wafers

Prepare Jello pudding according to directions. Set aside to set. Whip the cream with the sugar and vanilla to stiff peaks, the airier the better. Fold the whipped cream, cookies, and bananas into the pudding. Let it sit for an hour in the fridge. Serve cold. YUM!

I have half a tub waiting to love me when I get home. You should too...

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By the way, the Sweet Dreams recipe yielded an incredible pudding. I do recommend adding a little less whipped cream to the custard and then layering like so: pudding, Nillas, whipped cream, bananas, repeat ad nauseum. By the way, neither of these puddings keep very well, so make enough for that day and then make again when the craving hits. Also, don't turn your nose up at the quick n' lazy recipe -- Magnolia's recipe is very very similar, but it involves instant vanilla pudding, cold water, a can of sweetened condensed milk and about a gallon of whipped cream.