I didn't wake til almost noon
I sleep so late these days
But smells were wafting in my room--
Cinnamon butter glaze!
Doug's mom was making Swedish buns,
It was my lucky day!
I sat down with my cup of tea
Gobbling one right away.
That tender crumb, so golden brown,
With hints of cardamom,
And opaque sugar crystals
Sprinkled, like diamonds.
I curled back up in bed to read,
I watched some bad TV
I played computer Scrabble too
Until I got hungry.
I heated up some leftovers--
Dinner, Fairway Cafe
Some flank steak, mashed potatoes
And a green spinach saute.
Computer Scrabble kicked my ass
And sixty minutes in,
I smelled my lunch complaining,
"Been too long in the oven!"
I grabbed it with the oven mitt,
Peeled back the foil top:
My steak had shrunk to beef jerky,
In greased potato slop.
Then Doug returned, with mom in tow
They broke the Swedish bread
"I guess one more slice couldn't hurt,
Thank you so much!" I said.
I left the house for Parlay Lounge
And quickly had to flee
Twas bridge-and-tunnel hell on earth
and frat purgatory.
I met back up with Doug and friend
Went to Siberia
Two vodkas plus empty stomach?
Late night delirium.
I walked to Port Authority
To take the subway back
Of course, just as I got there
The train pulled out of the track.
I sat down on a wooden bench
And pulled out my train read
When this old guy with a hand truck
Makes kissy-face at me.
It's three a.m., and I can't deal
I open up my book.
I notice movement to my left
And I can't help but look.
The old guy's jerking himself off!
He looks me in the eye.
I quickly move to the next bench
With more people nearby.
But still the old guy follows me.
When he's four feet away,
He starts to rub his crotch again!
I think, what should I say?
Does he think I will think it's cute,
Or want a reaction?
I know he's a sick fuck. What if
He's got a knife or gun?
Another man comes down the stairs,
The masturbator flees.
I guess he only likes to do
His show for us ladies.
Eight million stories, Naked City,
Your nights are never drab
But that was too unsavory --
Next time, I'll take a cab.
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