DAY FOUR, Saturday, April 9
5:30 p.m.
We perform at Chapters Books for a small audience in folding chairs. We sound fantastic, if I do say so myself. Sem is in the audience and I totally mess up one of his lyrics, but he pretends not to notice. I spy my friend Dan in the audience and am ecstatic to see a familiar face. After the performance, we slip out to the bistro around the corner for a glass of champagne.
8:00 p.m.
I slip away from the Bosnians and the Charming Hostess ladies to meet up with Dan again. (A lot of Dans on this tour, huh?) "Is there anything you want to do?" he asks.
"Ben's Chili Bowl!"
"I go there at least twice a week. We can walk over there."
9:00 p.m. Short stack -- Ben's Chili Bowl
I asked some of my touring musician friends if they had any suggestions for eateries in Baltimore, Philly, or D.C. Ben's Chili Bowl came up a couple of times. This U Street institution has been keeping it real since 1958 -- and I don't think much has changed since then. The decor is very '50s diner, complete with red leatherette bar stools and booths, and the grillmasters wear white uniforms with white paper caps. Be careful if you put back a couple of drinks (which, if you've made it down to the Chili Bowl, you probably have) -- the insta-sobering white fluorescents are quite harsh on the eyes. Just squint and focus on the perfect rows of sausages on the beautiful grill.
"What do we get?" I ask Dan.
"Half-smoked with everything." (Apparently Bill Cosby's favorite.)
"Can we get some chili cheese fries too?"
"Great," he says. He points at the percolating drink dispenser. "What do you want to drink? Red, orange..."
"How about pink?" I reply.
"Okay. Can we get two half-smoked with everything, one order of chili cheese fries, and one small pink, one medium pink?"
We take our feast to the table and chow. The half-smoked is quite snappy and yummus, oozing smoky fat out of every crevice, the generous slathering of chili with a little mustard and chopped onion gilding the fatty lily. The chili cheese fries are pretty perfect -- crisp, thick fries with plenty of spicy chili and a cheez whiz kind of sauce. The pink drink tastes faintly lemonade-y if I close my eyes and use my imagination. After about five minutes of eager scarfing, I'm starting to feel the burn. After ten minutes, I have come to a complete halt. It feels like my meal isn't mixing very well in my stomach.
We go back to Dan's house to split a fizzy bottle of Korbel brut and play some scrabble. As the burn fades away, I suddenly have a hankering for more of those chili cheese fries. I don't know what they put in that chili, but I'd risk the burn again for just one more hit of it...
Grade: B
Total: $8.50 per person for a half-smoked with everything, my half of a plate of chili cheese fries, and a pink drink.
Will I return? Honestly, I'm still fiending for those damn chili cheese fries. How else am I going to sate a craving like that? It's hard to get that kind of grub in this health-conscious era. Ben, I'm under your spell.
Ben's Chili Bowl
1213 U Street, N.W.
Washington D.C. 20009
(202)667-0909
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