Beach Blanket Babylon

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FerryI hit Fire Island with some friends on Saturday and had a most relaxing day napping in the sun to the sound of the ocean.  I look like a June strawberry in spots where I didn't slather the sunscreen thoroughly, and I've got an unfortunate lily-white X marking up my roasted back, but I'm as happy as an unharvested clam in red-tide Massachussetts.

Hopefully this will be the first of many beach field trips this year, and it got me thinking -- what kind of picnic should one bring to the beach?  I think there are two kinds of picnickers:

A.  The kind they show in J. Crew ads who think that a picnic should be a 12-course feast packed into a wicker basket, with Dixie plates balanced on poised, slender laps

and

B.  The kind who want to nap in peace and hopefully not starve while at the beach.

I am a type B on this one, which may come as a surprise.  If I want a fancy meal, I want to have it at home, where I am close to my pantry and my stove and I can eat on a real table with real silverware and a real plate.  I don't want to lug something heavy and fancy all the way to the beach, only to have it spoil in the heat, get sloshed around or crushed in my bag, and completely annoy me with how much space it is taking up on the train.  I am not bringing a big-ass Coleman cooler with ice packs the way my L.A.  suburban parents did -- they never had to deal with the subway, the LIRR, and the ferry. 

To this end, I have a couple of rules of thumb about picnic food, which can also be applied to airplane snacks:

1.  No utensils or plates required
2.  No tupperware you have to bring back home
3.  No fragile foods
4.  Must be delicious and unspoiled at beach temperature (way above room temperature)

So what does that leave you?  Here are some suggestions for your next beach trip:

Sandwiches -- What genius decided to put meat between two pieces of bread and take it to go?  The English credit the Earl of Sandwich, though part of me suspects that was a good P.R. campaign.  But this is the best time for a well-composed, not overfilled sandwich.  If you're bored with the sandwiches you eat everyday at work, try some different fillings -- I love mortadella, San Daniele prosciutto, serrano ham, soppresata; ask Cielo at Murray's to pair them with some great cheeses like the sheepy Pecorino Pepato we had on the mortadella sandwich. 

For road trips, I think airing on the dry side is better.  Make your sandwich with tomato and you'll wind up with a soggy mess by the time you get to the sand.  I prefer to add easy to chew through roasted vegetables like summer squash and red pepper; a little roasted garlic, pesto, caponata, or avocado spread on one side of the bread is very chic.

A nice sturdy bread will hold up well even if you save your snack for the train ride back to town.  This weekend, I hollowed out Amy's Bread's $2 mini rustic Italian -- perfect for a sandwich for two.  Any boule or ciabatta loaf makes a great sandwich, and as an added bonus, the hollowed out whole loaves tend to hold the sandwich together better than two flat slices of bread.  Throw a little recloseable jar of cornichons and a bag of chips in your backpack and you're good to go.

And, for the love of god, don't put sprouts on your sandwich.  While working in the produce department of a grocery store, I learned that by law, sprouts must be kept below a certain temperature in those refrigerated cases -- otherwise, they are susceptible to E. Coli and other sickness-inducing bacteria (I know, I always thought E. Coli was a meat bacteria, so don't ask me why it gets into sprouts because I don't know why.)  Besides, as far as I'm concerned, those sprouts are mostly disgusting and belong in the soil, not in your food.

Sticky rice and fried beef jerky -- glutinous sticky rice is the traditional to go food for Thai families.  You eat it with your hands, it sticks to your ribs, and it's plenty delicious at room temperature.  My aunt used to make a sort of sticky rice sushi -- fried beef jerky rolled up in the middle of a log of sticky rice -- which we kids all fought over.   With a sliced kirby cucumber, it makes an easy to carry, yet surprisingly satisfying mid-day meal.

Onigiri -- same idea, different format: rice with cooked salted salmon, salted plum, or some other filling, shaped into a triangle and wrapped with a big piece of seaweed.  The best ones to purchase are from Sunrise Mart, though the keep-dry packaging on the JAS mart rice balls is very cool. 

Cheese -- Cheeses are great to share with friends -- just one plastic knife necessary.  But steer clear of the softer cheeses like brie, chevre and mozzarella, which will just melt, get squished around and make a mess in your bag.  Instead, bring semi-hard and hard cheeses.  Prima Donna, a semi-hard gouda made with Italian cultures, was a big hit on our trip, and didn't start melting grease right through the wrapping paper the way the Lord of the Hundreds sheep's milk did.  Hard cheeses like Parmigiano Reggiano and the crumbly Provolone Mandorone are also easy to share and nibble, especially with crisp everything-seasoned flatbreads and black pepper crackers.

Crudite -- need fiber?  Carrots and celery are fine, but why not try sliced jicama, French Breakfast radishes, blanched green beans, sugar snap peas, and a little disposable container with chutney for dipping?

Fruits -- fruit is great for the beach, especially since summertime brings us a cornucopia of yummy locally grown choices.  But as we discovered on our little jaunt, soft, ripe strawberries are not happy being jostled around in the cooler.  However, the early cherries fared quite well.  Grapes, cherries, blueberries, whole plums will travel well -- just wash them before you leave the house because chances are, you'll be far away from a spigot of potable water.  Cut fruits tend to get a little juicy and messy, but pineapple, cantaloupe and honeydew will probably fare better in a ziploc than the softer papaya, peach and mango.   (Besides, peaches are nowhere near ready yet, and if you're not eating a local peach that was picked ripe from a tri-state tree, you are not eating a peach.)

Cookies -- Forget the cakes, forget the pie and go with cookies.  They're already in individual serving sizes, they can withstand being tossed around in a beach bag, and everyone loves a good cookie.  Chocolate chips may melt and make a mess, though, so try making oatmeal cranberry, peanut butter or, one of my favorites, cinnamon  anointed snickerdoodles.

Water -- Don't waste your energy carting thirst-increasing soda to the beach.  Bring a huge jug of water with you, like I did, but unlike me, drink it.  It's easy to get heat stroke, even when those ocean breezes seem to be cooling you pleasantly.  I think I lost some brain mass from dehydration while baking out at Sunken Forest, and I'm definitely going to lose a layer of epidermis. 

BurnHave fun in the sun, and don't be chicken about asking your friends to platonically put sunscreen on your back!

2 Comments

truly hilarious photo of chris.

i know. that guy's a hoot.

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My name is Ganda. What kind of name is France Gall?

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