July 2005 Archives

Yummy fanancy cocktails, retro outfitted friendly wait staff, romantic lighting design, cute stemware, yuppie breeding ground, blah blah blah rehash browns.

But have you tried the FDA-disapproved hand cut steak tartare ($14)?  Tender hunks of raw burgundy beef with sundried tomato, truffled chopped capers, crunchy rock salt, cool sharpness of minced shallots, tart dijon mustard, worcestershire sauce, house made hot sauce, all topped by an audaciously raw egg yolk and mixed by a fedora-topped waitron til slippery and sensuous, served with crisp crostini and some sad mesclun grass shavings which only got in the way.  YUMMUS.  Earthy gland popping goodness with uber-umami power.  Make me want to grunt and drag man back to cave by hair.

Employees Only
510 Hudson St
New York, NY 10014
1, 9 to Christopher St.

They have a garden for drinking and dining out back, if you're into that kind of thing.

Name: Douglas Faneuil

Occupation: manage a private art collection

Borough: BROOKLYN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did you eat today?

A scoop of ice cream for breakfast: a new flavor from Häagen-Dazs, Caramel Cone Crunch, which I wholeheartedly endorse.

For lunch, a fried oyster samich from Pearl's -- I mean, Pearl Oyster Bar. (I've been told that adding possessives to place names is déclassé, but I always call it Pearl's.) I think those were my first fried oysters, and I loved them. The sammy came with a side of shoe-string fries, which, though aesthetically superior to other fries, I've realized I don't enjoy as much. As I said at lunch, I felt like I was eating barbed wire. Even a small handful of those crispy, pointy shoe-strings can do some damage without a few awkward contortions of the mouth -- and I'll save that for my lover.

I had a late-afternoon cone of pistachio gelato, which hit the spot, and soon after I crashed a dinner party for three. The menu: vodka martinis -- I like straight up with a twist -- a very yummy gazpacho soup with little chunks of vegetables -- not pureed, also what I like --  and a spicy shrimp salad with lightly dressed greens. I ate the shrimp tails, to the befuddlement of the group. Why not? Rob got me eating them, and now I like their crunch.

What do you never eat?

Though I love chopped liver done right, if it ain't chopped get it away from me. I also never eat diet products, except low-fat cream cheese because I can't tell the difference. And margarine is lunacy.

Complete this sentence:  In my refrigerator, you can always find:

Spring Water, preferably Poland Springs. (I love you, Brooklyn, but I don't trust your water.)

What is your favorite kitchen item?

The mandoline, hands down.

Where do you eat out most frequently?

Um... There's no clear winner. Some ol' standards: Grand Sichuan (on 24th and 9th), Blue Ribbon Bakery & Blue Ribbon Brooklyn, La Bonbonierre, and the two pizza places nearest home and work.

World ends tomorrow. What would you like for your last meal?

My Nana's brisket
my Mormor's Swedish buns
my mother's gingersnaps
my stepmom's rice pilaf
mac & cheese
biscuits and gravy
a root beer float
some trumped-up version of fried dough
an incredibly moist chocolate cake with buttercream frosting, and warmed, home-made Callebaut chocolate sauce for eating straight from the jar.
And for dessert, dinner at Daniel's -- I mean, Daniel. 

These are installation pieces done by my father in La Puente from 1994-present. The objects are found pieces in their natural habitats.  The collection is called:

T H A I G L I S H


Mushroom Piece, Pau's pantry. Date unknown.  Mixed media: plastic, dried Chinese mushrooms, paper, scotch tape, red sharpie. 
English translation: DO NOT THROW IN THE TRASH. LEAVE ME ALONE

Garage Door Opener Piece, car.  Date unknown.  Mixed media: plastic, post-it, scotch-tape, ball-point pen.
English message: PRESS LIGHTLY & HOLD

English translation of Thai message: DO NOT PRESS DOWN DEEPLY. PRESS LIGHTLY & HOLD

Bad Hinge Piece, Mini-storage, previously bedroom.  Date unknown.  Mixed media: enameled metal, masking tape, black sharpie.
Sign says in English: DO NOT OPEN THIS SIDE BAD HINGE
Missing and/or presumed stolen from the original work was another piece of masking tape underneath this one which had the same message in Thai.

Frittata Piece, kitchen table.  July 3, 2005.  Mixed media: eggs, shiitake mushrooms, ham, onion, peppers, oil, corelle plate.
subtitle of this piece: I don't need words to say I love you and I'm glad you're home

Card Piece, Pau's pantry.  Some time in the 1980s.  Mixed media: paper, photo, Crayola markers.
subtitle of this piece: "Chinese people don't hug"

You know, every time I visit L.A. I think long and hard about when I'm going to return for good so I can be with my family.  Groceries for a feast for nine people yesterday cost about $50, including two whole fried trout with curry sauce; sauteed yellow chives; mild soup with tofu, ground pork meatballs, and fish balls; yum woonsen (glass noodle salad) with pork and shrimp; my mae's unbeatable cucumber salad; and stir-fried morning glory with chilies.  I stopped and sighed when I smashed open a clove of garlic and saw how creamy white, fresh and juicy it was. 

And the living spaces!  My friends Mark and Sara moved from a super slim one-bedroom walk-up on St. Marks Place to a palatial two-bedroom in Silverlake drowning in sunlight, two bathrooms, a washer/dryer, a dishwasher, panoramic views of the hills, two parking spaces, and a deck.  And they pay $400 less than they did for their East Village shoebox.   We sprawled out on the L.A. condo standard-issue cream carpet, munched on Trader Joe's snacks and watched the fireworks from their living room on Sunday night. 

Here are my cousin, my cutie mae, and our huge kaffir lime tree in the backyard.  Imagine -- kaffir lime leaves, limes, chilies, cherry tomatoes, and lemongrass  fresh from the garden.  And sunshine year round.  Don't hate me -- I love New York with all my heart, but I wouldn't kick L.A. out of bed.

I think my parents got rid of satellite TV.  This is a tragedy because after watching a three-ep Blow Out marathon on Jet Blue on the flight over here, I was so jonesing for more.  And I really wanted to catch up on The Dog Whisperer. 

Anyway, while totes bored, as I often am in La Puente, I was flipping public channels and landed on the all Japanese network.  I discovered this CRAZY AWESOME Japanese cooking show called DOTCH something something.  It's like S&M porn for foodies. 

Basically, there's a battle between two dishes created by two chefs.  This episode's battle was beef rice bowl vs. sea urchin rice bowl.  There are seven celebrities who vote on what they'd like to eat.  The hosts spend the whole first part of the show showing informative and delicious segments about where the ingredients come from, how they are cooked, where they are raised, etc.

They showed a segment on an 88 year old man who claims to be the ORIGINAL SEA URCHIN FISHERMAN.  He's so good he can practically find the best sea urchins by ESP.  The sea urchins he collected, and which were being served, were bright, navel orange and super fresh looking.  Then they showed the 20 year old Kamebishi soy sauce that they would serve with the competing super marbled beef, a demi-glace thick soy sauce so precious that the family did not sell it. 

Over the course of the show, the chefs cook the tantalizing dishes in front of the voting celebrities.  They cracked those sea urchins open right in their faces.  They fanned the flames of some glowing red logs underneath a huge, fatty slab of meat which oozed and popped with caramelizing goodness.  The seven celebrities cast several preliminary votes for what they'd like to eat, the saliva practically gushing in rivers from their titillated mouths.  As they close in on the final vote,  the celebs get a tiny taste of each dish.

Then they cast the final votes, and here's the rub -- if you vote for the losing dish, YOU DON'T GET TO EAT.  The sea urchin rice bowl won the most votes, so the sea urchin rice bowl backers got to gorge on huge bowls of mitsuba, wasabi, and yamaimo strewn sea urchin goodness, while the losers who voted for the equally delicious looking beef bowl had to watch, totally titillated but unfed.  IT'S SO CRUEL, I LOVE IT!  And then, bizarrely, they sent the losing chef to the back to eat his beef bowl by himself which was actually really lonely-looking and sad.

If you catch it, you must watch it.  As an added bonus, it has the awesome translated subtitles that used to run on pre-Food Network Iron Chef. 

DOTCH

9 p.m., Saturdays (at least)

Japanese network on public television in L.A.

After watching teeny Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas shove 37 hot dogs down in 12 minutes, topped only by tiny Japanese spurting-nostriled human garbage disposal Takeru Kobayashi's 49 hot dogs at the ESPN-worthy Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, I felt so ill that I decided I AM NOT EATING HOT DOGS EVER AGAIN.  Or at least I AM NOT EATING HOT DOGS TIL THE END OF THE MONTH.

And here is the very classy looking website for the International Federation of Competitive Eating, whose headquarters can be found on West 25th St. right here in New York City.  Who knew?

As predicted, my mae is bursting at the seams with joy over having both her babies under her roof.  About 8 a.m. this morning, before our morning meal of salmon Khao Thom, she thought it would be nice for us to go pull weeds from her brand new lush grassy lawn AS A FAMILY.  As my mae and I squatted in the backyard like our rice paddy predecessors, wearing matching tropical print muumuus, we heard a gentle, "Krr.  Krrrr." 

MAE: "Ooii! What's that sound?"

She started bounding off the grass and onto the cement patio, which I, following suit, did too, just in time to hear "Krr.  KRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR," as the automatic sprinklers went off. 

Ah, home sweet home.

Name:  Winnie Chang

Occupation:  Pixel Pusher

Borough: Brooklyn

What did you eat today?

A surprisingly good brunch at Five Points: Churros, Chipotle chicken with poached eggs and corn tortillas.
Dinner: homemade garlic chive and pork dumplings

What do you never eat?

I can't stand conch and I always pick out raw onions in salads

Complete this sentence:  In my refrigerator, you can always find:

Random condiments, soy milk, and some kind of cheese

What is your favorite kitchen item?

Right now, it's my All-Clad nonstick frying pan. The smoker out on the patio is being put to good use as well.

Where do you eat out most frequently?

Café Vivolo and Bunchberries for lunch. Taku since my friend, Michael, cooks there and they have bar seating in front of the kitchen so we can chat with him when he's not slammed. Plus the food is good and they have Il Laboratorio del Gelato ice cream.

World ends tomorrow.  What would you like for your last meal?

My mom's garlic chive pockets
Also her seafood gumbo
Black pig udon from a little izakaya in nishi-shinjuku
This nectar-of-the-gods sake from the same izakaya... I don't know the
name of it, but the label has the character for the number four on it
cherry limeade from Sonic
Chicago style deep dish pizza
Broiled lobster, with uni from Sugiyama
Strawberry panna cotta
The apple fritters with caramel ice cream from Craft Bar