Dear Crabby,
I don't have a microwave. What's the best way to reheat my leftover refrigerated rice?
Sincerely,
Rice Lover
Dear Rice Lover:
It's funny that you should be asking me this question right now, because I don't have a microwave either, and I have just come up with the most GENIUS way to reheat rice. Take your cold rice, dump it into the rice cooker with a couple of tablespoons of water. Put the lid on and press the Rice Cook button. It should be ready in about 5-10 minutes, depending on how much rice you have. In fact, my rice cooker automatically turns itself to Keep Warm when the rice is ready because it is a BABY GENIUS PSYCHIC MACHINE. Stir it before serving. This super sexy reheating method is fast enough, and it's almost as delicious as fresh rice. And you can continue to protect the babies from radiation damage. 
Eat me,
Crabby
P.S. If you're about to sass me and ask, "Why don't you just put it on keep warm?", it's because I tried that and it would have taken 30 minutes to warm up the rice; then you might as well be making fresh rice. --C
P.P.S. What, you don't have a rice cooker? What kind of hater are you, Rice Lover? Rice cookers RULE. Set it and fuhggedit! --C
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