Go Shorty, it's my birthday!

Thanks Mae and Pau for having sex that one time. 

It's time for my ten year progress report.  What have I accomplished since relieving my parents of responsibility for me and becoming and adult in the eyes of the law?  What's the difference between being 18 and being 28?

1995: I lived in a house with two stoves, two overpacked refrigerators, and 14 other hormonal co-ed sophomores in a historical house in Berkeley, CA.
2005: I live in the add-on apartment to an old converted butcher shop with la Doug, my once and future roommate in Sunset Park, Brooklyn.

1995: I swigged cheap sparkling wine with bubbles as big as eyeballs straight from the bottle before ralphing it, and dinner, all over a cute college boy (true).
2005:  I can't quite afford to swim in Krug, but I don't have to slum it with Korbel anymore.  I am liking the NV Vouvray.  And when I have to ralph, I've learned to aim AWAY from the cute boys.

1995: Chicago Cutlery 8" Chef's knife
2005: Glestain 7" Santoku knife, Global 4" paring knife

1995: Typical at-home meal: 3 minute angel hair pasta with Classico Tomato Basil sauce straight from the refrigerator.
2005: Typical at-home meal: Ma-po tofu with kimchi and rice and/or Haagen-Dazs straight from the carton.

1995: A splurge was Zachary's Pizza on College, Chicago-style deep dish stuffed with mozz, chicken, and olives with a tall plastic tumbler of icy Coke.
2005: A splurge is three courses at al di la in Park Slope, with a nice bracing espresso to end the meal. 

1995: I would skip class to go to Bottom of the Hill in San Francisco with my buddy Julian.  We'd get there at 5:00 p.m. when the band we wanted to see (always a Brit-pop band) was setting up for sound check and wait for SIX HOURS in the courtyard out back til the band played because we knew they'd never let our underage asses through the doors otherwise.
2005: I've sung in Chiba Marine stadium in Japan.  I've sung for unenthusiastic Germans at the Leipzig Opera House.  I'm going to Sarajevo in a few weeks to sing in a festival.  A few people actually have my autograph.  I've gotten to say that not only am I with the band, I am in the band.  And I still think it's pretty fucking cool.

1995: One DOS-based Eudora e-mail account at uclink.berkeley.edu, one land line.  What's the internet?
2005: A gmail account, a yahoo account,  work e-mail, two verizon accounts (one current, one defunct), a defunct hotmail account.  As Doug has said, I've got more email addresses than a craigslist ho.  Also, one typepad blog, a flickr account, a cell phone, a shared land line, and mainlining the dubdubdub for probably 11 hours a day, M-F.  God, that's a little depressing.

1995: Number of times I called my Mae per week: 1
2005: Number of times I call my Mae per week: 1

1995: Not getting laid.
2005: Not getting laid.  But I do have a 401K.  Does that turn you on?

1995: I hoped in ten years I'd be a famous stage actress, maybe living in England.  (1996 is the year London breaks me.  At 18, I was still a hardcore Anglophile.)
2005: I hope in ten years I'll be sated and free with good stories to tell and good adventures to come.  And I hope I don't get fat.