Some important Christmas lessons

I learned some important lessons this Christmas that I thought I would share with you, adorable readers.

• Christmas goose (served for Christmas dinner at the St. Regis with red scallions, quince, and tart rutabaga sauerkraut) -- it's fatty, it's dark, and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between it and duck.  Me likey.

• Mark Bello steered me towards a fine selection of cheeses which I brought as a welcome gift for Anel, Chris, Lucas and Ethan.  The kids liked the Nord Hollander aged gouda ("the orange one!"), which had the pleasant crunch of amino acid crystals and a nutty, caramel-y flavor; Chris loved the Cremeux de Bourgogne -- a super rich, buttery soft brie-like triple creme made with pasteurized cow's milk.  I went for the tangy log slice of Monte Enebro, a super creamy paste goat cheese covered with ash and blue-cheese mold.  And Wellington cracked pepper crackers are a little too peppery for my taste.

• The St. Regis makes the most delicious coffee, especially when you order it up to the room in the super-insulated sterling carafe with fine china cups and saucers, a mini pitcher of cream and a vase-sheathed white rose on a silver tray carried by a butler in coattails.  FA-NANCY!

• The one night Anel and Chris left Lucas and Ethan under my supervision, I let them get all hopped up on the lollipops and Nerds they had scored at Dylan's Candy Bar til they were bouncing off the walls like cracked out cherubim.  (For the record, Anel & Chris bought them all that sugar and then left the kids with me while they went out for dinner and a Broadway show.)  Later that night, when I was waging a battle to get them ready for bed, I got them both to start brushing their teeth in the cavernous St. Regis bathroom.  As Ethan tried to turn the faucet taps on, he fell off the makeshift stool, banging his butt, then his little head on the cold marble.  I nearly had a heart attack.  I was worried I was going to have to make the Interruptus Emergencia call.  Thank God he stopped crying after a few minutes.  He didn't get a very good tooth brushing in, but I'll take a little baby tooth decay over a concussion any day. Of course as soon as I got them in bed, their Uncle Mike came over to say good night.  And what do you think the first thing out of Lucas's mouth was?  "Uncle Mike!  Ethan fell on his head!  He has a boo-boo!"  Ratted out by a four year old.  I spent the rest of the night trying to get a good look at Ethan's pupils to make sure they weren't dilating funnily.  I love Anel's children, but I'm not ready to have kids yet.

• Serendipity 3 was probably a charming, kitschy place at some point in its existence, but now it is a bit in too in love with itself.  The whole front of the place is like a souvenir shop with Serendipity cookbooks being signed by the owner, Serendipity lip balm, Serendipity t-shirts, merch merch merch galore for sale to the tourists who wait on line in the cold to get in.  And the Frrrozen Hot Chocolate?  It's a big icy chocolate milkshake top heavy with schlag-hard whipped cream and a couple of chocolate shavings.  Nothing you couldn't make at home with a blender.

• The Radio City Christmas Show is TOTALLY OUT, man.  You must see it.  The kids were crazy for it.  Midgets, leggy beauties in sparkly spandex, live camels, a mini ice-rink with pairs figure skaters, dancing Santas, that amazing toy soldiers sequence, a 3-D movie with free 3-D glasses...I won't lie, when the big light bulb encrusted ROCKETTES sign came rising out of the stage in front of a backdrop of the NYC skyline, I got a little verklempt.

• New vocab word: chirl n. child + girl, e.g. Chirrrrrrrrrrrrl, I know you're not gonna pretend you don't want dessert.  Even your eyes are salivating.

• Christmas is so much better with kids around.  Lucas woke up in the middle of Christmas Eve night only to discover that Santa had eaten all of his cookies, drank all his milk, and set up his new Thomas the Tank Engine set.  That kind of excitement, wonder, and totally unbridled joy is really amazing and precious, especially to a jaded old fart like me.

Thank you to my homeslice Anel, Chris, Lucas & Ethan for sharing their glamorous New York Christmas at the St. Regis with me.  I loved experiencing my city through knee-high eyes with you.  No bodily harm to your tots next time, I swear.  I miss you terribly already.

See my Christmas flickr set here.