February 2006 Archives

• The FDA is reviewing the practice of using carbon monoxide to preserve meat pigment, a practice they approved back in 2002.  Oh yeah, let's find out if bombing meat with poison gas is bad AFTER the American people have been eating the results for four years. 

• Nina Lalli frenches dead cows all over NYC. Might I suggest lengua tacos at Tacos Matamoros...
• ...now that Matamoros Puebla in Williamsburg is meeting its Maker.

• And you can't make this shit up -- a Palestinian brewery is about to launch a non-alcoholic beer called Hamas.  Let me break that up for you -- A Palestinian brewery.  Is about to launch a non-alcoholic beer.  Called HAMAS.  It's only a matter of time before we get kosher bacon.

Here's my really good reason for light coverage this month and next month: I'm in rehearsal now for Here Lies Love, a song cycle about Imelda Marcos written by David Byrne, with musical contributions by Fatboy Slim.  It's premiering at the Adelaide Arts Festival (that's in Australia for the geography dunces like me).  I'll be singing the Estrella songs (Imelda's family's maid/her childhood companion) and the fabulous Dana (pronounced Dah-na) Diaz-Tutaan of ApSci will be singing the Imelda songs. David Byrne will be singing all other roles for this concert version.

That's why I'll be in Adelaide from March 5-15.  I'm looking forward to some on the road adventure.  I will actually try to bring the iBook, digicam, etc. so I can realtime blog while I'm over there. I'm coming armed with restaurant recs and internet acquaintances' phone numbers.  Aren't you sexcited?

I can tell you my Mae is.  I actually put off telling her for a long time because I figured she'd freak out about me having to take unpaid leave of absence from work for it.  She is wholly unimpressed by my singing career -- in fact, she's way more proud of the fact that I settled down and got a real deal 9-5, Monday-Friday cubicle farm job.  She doesn't understand why I like being a singer, even though I inherited my singing voice from her.  She once said to my cousin, "They work so hard, Lynda, but why?"

So last Sunday, during our weekly phone call, I broke the news to her:

ME: So, um, Mae, I'm going to take a little time off work because I'm going to be in this music theater piece.  We're going to Australia.  It was written by someone who's pretty famous, but you probably wouldn't know who he is. 

MAE: Australia?

ME: Yeah.

MAE: [Pause] Do you get your own hotel room?

ME: Yeah, actually.  They pay for the airfare and everything.  It's pretty fancy.

MAE:  What size bed do you think you'll get?

ME:  Well, I'm sure it'll be at least a full, but more likely it will be queen.

MAE:  So you think I could stay in your room with you?

ME: [taken aback]  Yeah, of course.  I'm sure they wouldn't say anything.

MAE:  I wonder if they'll let me take time off work if I ask now.  I wish you had told me earlier so I could go with you.  How come you didn't tell me before?

ME:  [pleasantly surprised] I don't know...I thought you would be upset about my having to take time off work.  And you never seemed interested in my music before--

MAE:  Well, I don't have to listen to the music, I just go sightseeing.

ME: Oh. Of course.

 

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• First came Bush's Freedom Fries; now danishes in Iran have been renamed "Roses of the Prophet Muhammad" in protest.  Some proposed new changes for the White House larder: Best Friends Forever Breakfast Tea, Kraft Heaven is for Christians Cheese Slices.
• Do you miss Julia Child?  I do.  This week's Eat, Memory features an excerpt from an upcoming autobio co-written by Julia's nephew Alex Prud'homme.  Big personality, no preciousness.

Name: Justin Chen

Occupation: Ad geek

Borough: Brooklyn

What did you eat today?

I’ll go with yesterday, because it’s more interesting. For lunch, I went Wendy’s. (My first time in over 3 years.)  Ate a spicy chicken sandwich and a junior cheeseburger deluxe. Very yummy. For dinner, I went with my girlfriend to Jonez on Greenwich. We had a bottle of the Bear Boat Pinot Noir (smooth, juicy). Started with a chopped salad, then for the main course we shared two things: macaroni and cheese with lobster chunks, and a whole roasted red snapper served with a parmesan risotto and spinach on the side. Also had some of their delicious homemade potato chips. Good restaurant. Will go back for brunch to try their monkey bread.

What do you never eat?

If the question refers to foods I’ve had before, but have no desire to eat again, then I’d have to say bull’s testicles, blood sausage, chicken feet, and live goldfish.  [I didn't know you were in a frat in college.  --Ed.] But, if the question refers to stuff I’ve never eaten and have no desire to try, then the answer is dog, monkey’s brains, maggots, and insects. And yet, if I take the question as hyperbole, as in, stuff I rarely eat, but really love eating, then the answer is Reuben sandwiches, lobster, chicken/veal parmesan, chocolate cheesecake, pasta agli olio, pasta carbonara, General Gau’s chicken, movie popcorn, foie gras, fried chicken, McDonald’s breakfast, sour patch kids, Eggs Benedict, pad thai, Cobb salads, raw oysters, and oxtail stew. [I dig the details, holla.  --Ed.]

Complete this sentence:  In my refrigerator, you can always find:

Stonyfield Farms yogurt.

What is your favorite kitchen item?

My chef’s knife.

Where do you eat out most frequently?

Right now, I’d have to say New Green Bo Restaurant in Chinatown. Near Bayard and Mott. Great dumplings.

World ends tomorrow.  What would you like for your last meal?

Oh boy.  Here goes:

One lobster tail with a ramekin of ginger-soy-vinegar for dipping.

4 Pan-fried Chinese pork and leek dumplings.

A scallion pancake.

One small bowl of Cheerios with 2% milk.

One toasted everything bagel with nova lox, capers, thinly sliced onion and tomato.

5 jumbo shrimp cocktail with cocktail sauce.

3 raw Blue Point Oysters.

A plate of sliced Spanish tomatoes, topped with sherry vinegar and extra virgin.

One Spanish croquetta, made with ham.

A dish of gambas al ajillo.

A plate of pulpo gallega, topped with sea salt and extra paprika.

A homemade breakfast sandwich made with sausage. On a biscuit.

A bowl of New England clam Chowder. With a bottle of tabasco.

A bowl of hot and sour soup.

A bowl of homemade chili con carne. Freshly sliced jalapenos on the side.

A fried seafood basket consisting of fried Ipswich whole-belly clams, fried calamari (Rhode Island style), and one fishstick. Tartar on the side.

Sliced Peking Duck with 2 pancakes. Side of fresly sliced scallion and hoisin sauce.

Five pieces of General Gau’s chicken.

One big fat bowl of white rice. Basmati or jasmine.

Small plate of Ma-Po tofu, extra spicy

One plate of sticky rice noodles, cooked with mustard greens and shredded pork.

One grilled rib eye steak, 6 ounces, cooked rare.

One grilled lambchop, 6 ounces, cooked rare.

One grilled Basque sausage.

One plate of freshly cut steak fries. Mayo and ketchup on the side.

One whole steamed tilapia, cooked in a ginger-scallion sauce.

One sautéed dish of pea pod stems with garlic.

One dish of dry sautéed Chinese string beans, with minced pork.

One slice of pate served with a warm French baguette.

One greek salad from Bill’s Pizza in Newton. Extra dressing on the side.

One Greek grape leaf, with meat.

Four anchovies, two of them white.

One cheesesteak, with American cheese and mayo.

One imported Italian sub, made with good prosciutto, everything on it, including extra hot peppers.

One small piece of meat lasagna.

Four pieces of nigiri sushi. 2 sake, 1 hamachi, 1 toro.

One spicy shrimp tempura roll, with avocado.

One small bowl of penne arrabbiata. One meatball and extra parmesan on the side.

One bowl of Annie’s macaroni and cheese.

A peanut butter sandwich on toasted wheat.

One baked potato with sour cream and chives.

Two eggs over easy, five strips of bacon (two cooked soft, two cooked firm, one cooked crispy), homefries.

One Stonyfield Farms Raspberry yogurt.

A Santarpio’s pizza. Half cheese, half mushroom and pepperoni.

Five buffalo wings, spicy. Blue cheese dressing on the side.

One mozzarella stick. Marinara sauce on the side.

Cedar’s Hummus and a warm wheat pita.

One blueberry pancake with maple syrup.

One pastrami sandwich from 2nd Avenue Deli on light rye with extra mustard.

One piece of extra sharp cheddar cheese.

A homemade oatmeal raisin cookie.

A bowl of freshly cut Costa Rican pineapple.

One piece of cheesecake with berries.

A honey-glazed donut.

One piece of warm chocolate cake drizzled with dark chocolate and served with a side of French vanilla ice cream.

One blood orange.

A banana.

Three Fig Newmans.

One chocolate croissant.

One bloody mary, made with wasabi. Thick.

One glass of Pinot Noir.

One Sierra Nevada pale ale.

One bottle of Panna water.

(Last night, he said he forgot to mention some gazpacho and grilled sardines.  But Justin, by this time your guts have exploded on your deathbed already. --Ed.)

It's a Wednesday blowout!  Bruni debuts his blog (ooooh, I'm scared) and a review of Telepan that actually includes the  following sentences:

Entranced by Eggs. 
Bewitched by Blini.
Clobbered by Color.

If you need a little more help purging your breakfast, go ahead and read the asslicker comments on the blog.  Can Dick Cheney please take that guy on a hunting trip already?

According to this avuncular oncologist, aspartame is a carcinogen.  That's right, Tri-Delts, there's no such thing as Santa Claus.  This does not mean you should go running blindly into the arms of Splenda.  Sweet n' Low turned out to be an "anticipated carcinogen," I'm sure Splenda's time is nigh.  Remember, thorough research on possible carcinogenic substances takes a really long time; big money lobbying by Monsanto-peer behemoths for FDA approval does not.  Which is a bummer because I had just learned to drink Diet Coke in the last few months.  But I'm switching back to seltzer -- I have enough vices, I don't need to be wasting my lifespan on artificial sweeteners.

Those dumb Typepad/Kanoodle mortgage and tax filing ads didn't earn me bupkis in the last week, so off they go.  Hooray!  The Tip Jar, however, remains open and ready for business.  EDOW relies on the support of readers like you.  Become a member today at the $2 level and get the same gift the people who give nothing get -- Ganda Gone Wild, Uncut, Uncensored and Unrated!

• We're being POUNDED (heh heh) by a blizzard.  Being a suburban alarmist at heart, I got enough groceries up in my bunker to last through February.  Come Armageddon come!

 

• Vanessa Jackson goes to prison for almost successfully starving her four adopted children to death.  LOOK AT HOW PLUMP THE FACE OF EVIL IS.  Imagine the things she was stuffing her face with while she made her stunted adopted children "eat pancake batter, dried-up grits and oatmeal, uncooked Cream of Wheat, and raw potatoes instead of cooked food."  How can a person go to jail for a mandatory 10 year sentence for pulling a gun without firing it, but this woman gets only gets seven years for blatant abuse?  I hope she becomes the prison bitch for some 400 lb. gorilla who takes her share of graham crackers and bologna for the next seven years. 
• It's a scandal that has New York Mag cover story written all over it. Mario Batali and Lidia Bastianich may be forced to close Del Posto if they don't make repairs that would amount to more than $500,000 -- which is roughly the cost of two lobster claws and one veal cheek at the pasta palazzo.

• Low-fat diets do not reduce heart disease and cholesterol.  You now have no excuse for that tub of margarine in your fridge -- Crisco, however, is still acceptable.

Name: James Oliver Cury

Occupation: Eat Out Editor at Time Out New York, drinks columnist for Playboy.com. 

Borough: Manhattan

What did you eat today?

For breakfast, as always, I had a bowl of Total Whole Grain cereal (the blue box) and 1% lowfat milk.

For lunch, I had leftovers (goat curry) from a meal at a newish restaurant, Colors.

For dinner, I had a Mystical Frisco chicken burrito with no sour cream on a spinach tortilla from Burritoville. Normally, my wife cooks on Sunday, but she was busy this time around.

What do you never eat?

Cottage cheese. It’s hard for me to even write the words.

Complete this sentence:  In my refrigerator, you can always find:

Milk, Tropicana orange-tangerine juice, baby carrots, and jars of jams and jellies from a comparative taste test I conducted for Every Day with Rachael Ray magazine.

What is your favorite kitchen item?

The most essential item is my Capresso coffeemaker. My most cherished item is a Bazooka bubblegum mug I’ve had for decades. And my favorite new acquisition is a seriously sharp Furi Gusto-Grip knife.

Where do you eat out most frequently?

It’s my job to visit as many new restaurants as I can in a given week, so I try to avoid going back to the same old places. That said, my wife and I order in from Doyer’s Vietnamese and Café Habana when we are too busy, or tired, to cook.

World ends tomorrow. What would you like for your last meal?

Gee, I’d like to take my wife Dorothy to Per Se. She’s never been. The only other contender: Dorothy’s Polish matzo ball soup. And cheesecake for dessert.

Get more James Oliver Cury in Time Out .