Where NOT to dine alone in NYC

I was supposed to meet a certain person (who will go unnamed because he's very sorry he slept in) at World Tong for dim sum today at noon.  At 12:20ish, I got a froggy voiced call telling me he wouldn't make it, so I figured I'd just have some me time with the dumplings.

There are always plenty of single old Chinese biddies and middle aged Chinese bachelors with their newspapers enjoying yum cha on their own.  But I'm here to tell you that it's not for us amateurs.  I tried in vain to flag down cart pushers who didn't really acknowledge my single presence. Sometimes they called out the names of all the dishes they had in Chinese (which I look like I should understand but I don't).  I was crammed in between two parties, clean chopsticks coming dangerously close to my gnawed beef rib bones, my neighbor's open newspaper dipping a corner into the spout of my teapot.   I tried to put my hardcover novel up to my nose but I was distracted by the bumper carts trying to maneuver their way through the skinny restaurant lanes.  Grandpa next to me tried to get out of his seat and knocked his nose against the front cover of my book.  I gave up after thirty minutes and only two dishes. 

But then it occurred to me -- I had been sitting with two different families and not a single person had uttered a peep.  Everyone at that table may as well have been eating alone.  Isn't that depressing?  I don't know about them but it sure ruined my appetite.