Cake Man Raven

Have you ever waited for 4 1/2 hours for a piece of cake? I have. Today. Cake Man Raven popped that cherry.

Cake Man Raven's shop is just a hot little storefront with French doors blockaded by cooling racks and a front door blockaded by an empty refrigerated display case. There are no chairs, save a few metal park-style benches on the sidewalk. There's no a/c, so the icing tends to ooze in the oven-heated room. And today, there were no cakes.

I went at 4:20, waited for 20 minutes only to be told that there would be no slices of cake available for another 30 minutes. I came back 30 minutes later, only to be told that there would be no red velvet cake for another 15 minutes. I came back 45 minutes later, only to be told that red velvet cake was sold out, and that they didn't even know when it might come out again. Finally, I returned at 8:30 to relieve Doug who had been waiting on line with a dozen like-minded, annoyed patrons for a half hour. People were pissed. I was annoyed.

A woman in front of me spoke sternly to the kid behind the register for not having more cake prepared for all of the customers lined up outside the restaurant.

"Uh-uh," she said, "Put that cake in the fridge to set it. I don't want my cake sliding around. We waited this long, we can wait a few minutes more."

She turned to the throng lined up behind her. "Right? We waited this long. You gotta speak your mind." When one cake with nuts came out, she began bagging the clamshelled slices of cake, passing them to people behind her, and passing the cash to the listless youth at the counter.

"Tell Cake to call me. Tell him I had to organize for y'all. Tell him Kativa wants to have a word with him."

I have to thank Kativa for taking charge because finally, after 4 1/2 hours of trying, I got my cake. Was it worth the wait? I don't know if any cake is worth a 4 1/2 hour wait, but this one was pretty fucking fantastic. Even though it's a touch too sweet for my taste, it's still probably the best red velvet cake I've ever had. Still slightly warm from the oven, the blood red cake had a rich cocoa flavor (likely made with the industrial sized bag of Hershey's cocoa powder which I spied on their shelf) and super buttery, unctuous moistness with a spongy crumb. The sugary cream cheese frosting, melting in the heat, had just the lightest tang and the tiny grit of powdered sugar.

Even so, it was too hot to be waiting around for hours for a piece of cake. I won't do it again. At least I won't do it again this week.

Cake Man Raven
708 Fulton St., Brooklyn
718-694-2253
C to Lafayette Ave.