Results tagged “sweden” from eat drink one woman

I'm about to go on vacation!  There, I said it.  One week, possibly two weeks without my computer.  That means I'm dropping a cover over this site and I'll be back in a week or two.  I will bring the iPhone so I can use the map function (and possibly Twitter), but that's it!  It'll be me, my bicycle, a Swedish island in the Baltic Sea called Gotland, and the crazy spiral of my mind which I will attempt to hypnotize with physical activity.  It might rain, a lot, but I'm trying to nut up about it.

It's early August in Sweden and that means everyone has been on vacation for the last few weeks.  I get tons of auto-replies that say, "Jag är på semester" ("I am on vacation").  I even received one auto-reply with the subject "Paraplydrinkar" ("Umbrella drinks")!

You American readers know, of course, that it is practically verboten for an American to actually admit in their auto-reply that we are on vacation.  Instead, we say something purposefully vague like, "I am out of the office until August 3" or even "I am working out of the office". 

Whenever I tell a Swede that we would never dare say that we're on vacation, they ogle the crazy on my face and ask, "But why?"  And I don't know why.  Why are we Americans so ashamed of vacation?  Would it be such a terrible thing to admit that we are taking time off from work?  I would like to propose a few different auto-replies for your next non-work period. 

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Subject:  No deadbeat dad

Hi!  Thanks for your e-mail.

I am taking five days to play catch with my son who thinks that I live at work. 

Do you remember what your dad looks like?

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Subject: Moo!

I will be gone for the next three weeks so I don't have to pump breast milk in the bathroom on my lunch break.

Between breastfeeding my child and continuing my career, I choose both.  What do you think of that?

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Subject: I work hard so they don't have to 

I will be in California for a week visiting my parents, whom I get to see once a year.  I will read your e-mail on the five-hour red-eye flight home.

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Subject: Couples therapy

Thank you for getting in touch.

I am at home this week reconnecting with my workaholic wife, but I am clearing out my inbox once a day so I don't have to go through 1500 emails when I am back in the office. 

When I come back, the world will still be turning, I promise.

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Subject: Umbrella drinks! 

I am sitting on a beach with an umbrella drink in hand.  Don't be mad at me. You will be on vacation soon, too.  Then you can rub it in my face.  And we can all have a good laugh about how nice it is to not have to pretend that the only thing we care about in life is work.

Cheers!

 

 

From commenter Richard:

not a comment on this post (I do that later), but have a look at these, if you haven't seen them already, from ABD and Jon Stewart:

http://abcnews.go.com/print?id=7438955
http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=225113&title=the-stockholm-syndrome
http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=225126&title=the-stockholm-syndrome-pt.-2

Yes, all this US chatter about socialist Sweden is hilarious.  Those clips are making the rounds over here, too.

Here's another reason to fear socialist Sweden.

When you own a bike shop, you and your shop buddy can be open Monday through Friday from 12-6, and be closed for lunch from 1-2.  That means your shop is open 20 hours a week; and if you split those hours with your shop buddy, you are working 10 hours a week.  10 hours a week, people.  And you never have to worry about healthcare, or day care, or education.

Of course, this is not terribly convenient for certain people who have to work regular office hours and need to get their bike fixed, but can't hate the playa.