New Year’s Eve 2016

I was lying in a twin bed just now, thinking about all the things I’d like to write about. A sleeping Momo was kicking me with her warm little foot. I’m in my childhood home and I hear small booms outside—could be fireworks or could be bullets, this being La Puente. I have lots to say, but […]

Heart monitor

The technician who put my heart monitor on was a tall, beefy Filipino man with kind, smiling eyes and a smooth, shiny bald pate. He could have been 40 or 65. “Suthivarakom,” he called, with unusual confidence. He was a practitioner of Muay Thai, he explained, and was therefore unfazed by multisyllabic surnames. We went […]

Radio silence

I’m moving back to L.A. I guess? I’m not sure. But first I’m going to New York and then Mexico City. My friend Judy, a native of D.F. and current Manhattan resident, says New York smells of money and Mexico City smells of blood. That sounds appealing to me right now. On Saturday I will […]

100 days

My brother died. It’s been 100 days since my brother died, suddenly and unexpectedly. Danny died. It’s been eleven months since our father died. I am living in the apartment they both died in. People ask me how I am, but they don’t want to know. That I’m angry, that I wish to torch other people’s happiness. It’s been […]

Urbanism in LA

I’ve grown out of my tiny 230 sq. ft. apartment and I need to either buy a place or rent a new one. Despite really being into L.A., I don’t quite have my living/working situation settled. There’s still some friction between the different kinds of lifestyles I want. One is urban, walkable, with a sense […]

Expressive writing

Did you read this? “Writing forces people to reconstrue whatever is troubling them and find new meaning in it,” he said. I like. And it reinforces that I should be putting my thoughts down here, trinkets in my own little cigar box to pick up, examine, and put down whenever I want to.

Low Self Esteem Chocolate Cake

I made the mistake of getting on the scale at my parents’ house the other day. So as it turns out, when you stop eating like a diabetic with congestive heart failure, you start gaining weight. I’ve gained back all the weight I lost while living with my parents to the tune of nearly 20 […]

The Big Night Timpano

Look what I made for New Year’s Eve! I was KVELLING. I am still kvelling. Stanley Tucci’s recipe works incredibly well. I had moments of doubt as I was drying Italian bread only to resoak it in water for the 200 tiny meatballs the size of quail eggs, or when the paperback novel-sized lump of constantly contracting […]